Nobody's Nothings

My advice for the day:

Step out of your comfort zone.

Seriously.

i DO NOT mean go try crack cocaine because you’ve never been comfortable with the idea of illegal drugs and i told you to do so. that’s not what i mean at all.

most people have the ability to reason things out. a person afraid of heights knows they probably won’t fall out that window they’re terrified of looking out of. a person afraid of spiders knows that not every spider they see will hurt them. we know these things, yet when it comes to our fears, they still peek over our shoulders and whisper irrational, panicky words straight into our nervous system.

sometimes, stepping a little out of your comfort zone can be a good thing. it can open a whole new world of opportunities, friends, and good experiences. not all the experiences will be good- but hey. a little bit of wisdom added to experience never hurts[once it's over with.] okay, sometimes it can be traumatizing, but i’m a pessimist trying to look at the bright side. WORK WITH ME HERE.

For Example: i am shy. (until you get to know me) i am hesitant to try new things because i’m terrified of failure and embarrassment. i am also a pushover, and if i have a secret desire to do something, it won’t take much to push me over the edge and convince me to stick my big toe outside of my comfort zone, and just do it.

when i was in high school, i was a total band geek. book nerd, band geek, outcast. yee-haw. we all have our cutesy little high school labels, that was mine.

at the end of my sophomore year, one of my friends decided to try out for drum major. (or field commander, whatever) i always hung out in the band room after school because i had nothing better to do. when she started going to group lessons for field commander try outs, i’d hang out on the sidelines and watch. after a little while, i’d copy them just for fun. secretly, i wished i could be with them- but lessons cost money. try outs cost money. the field commander perches high on a pedestal in front of the entire stadium. that’s a lot of eyes on you. for a shy book worm who has trouble asking anybody for anything, that’s a big deal.

thankfully for me, the teacher didn’t have the same confidence issues i had- she saw me on the sidelines practicing, and after the lessons were over she told me that i was pretty good. she wanted me to try out. from then on i went to private lessons, and eventually went on to try out… and made it. my friend didn’t. my Junior year, i was field commander of my high school band, because i stepped outside my comfort zone and just did it.

i was field commander my senior year, and then stepped farther out of my comfort zone and tried out for field commander of my college band, even though i had zero hopes of actually making it as a freshman.

i did.

for the next 2 years i was my college band field commander… then my life did a 180 and completely changed, but that’s a story for another time.

i am really glad i stepped outside of my comfort zone to go on and make those memories of being field commander. in high school and college i wasn’t worth much… i didn’t make very good grades and i wasn’t super popular, but i did do something that i can be proud of.

of course, i’m all old now and i realize that it doesn’t mean squat in the scheme of things, but hey… take what you can get, right?

on to the update.

i decided not to join the gym. in the gym i could stay in my comfort zone and continue to be antisocial, but how would that benefit me as a person? i’m not going to make friends by ignoring the world. also, i’m at karate at least 2 times a week anyways. previously, i’d sit in a chair on the sidelines, read a book, and feel out of place and awkward. what’s the difference if i join in class? sure, it’s going out of my comfort zone… but sometimes you need to go outside of your comfort zone to continue to grow and change as a person. my head knows it’s not a big deal… the only thing holding me up are my irrational fears. well screw that. i’m already held hostage by a tendency towards motion sickness; i’m not going to let irration fears put me in shackles as well. (kenpo-yes. sailing-no.)

plus karate classes have one thing that the gym doesn’t… accountability. i’ve done the gym thing before. in fact, i went to classes for an entire year at the gym, and managed to not speak to anybody during that entire time. people have told me “you’ll eventually make friends”, but that’s just not true. not for me. don’t underestimate the powers of my antisocial side. the people at the gym don’t give a rat’s ass if i show up one week and not the next. nobody’s going to call me and say “hey, where are you? we’ve missed you in class this week!” at karate they will notice if i don’t show up. my husband and my son will definitely notice if i don’t go. plus, it’s also [dare i say] refreshing to actually talk to people again.

i already know the people at karate. i’ve been watching them come and go for over a year now. they’re all (so far) super friendly, and *gasp* normal. over the years we’ve hung out with many different groups of people, from contractors to cyclists to gear heads and none of them have been a good fit for our family. we’ve been robbed (literally) and let down. it’s hard to form a friendship with someone who doesn’t have the same priorities in life as you… for instance, we have a friend. he’s a really nice guy, but his priorities lie in spending every extra dime on booze and cigarrettes and squeezing in rent when he can. he’s a nice guy, but having a lasting friendship with a guy who doesn’t get the family priority is almost impossible.

karate is very much a family atmosphere. after participating for several classes, i realize now that it’s so vastly different from what i did as an adolescent, that there’s very little comparison. plus, being a woman with a little self defense in her pocket is always a good thing. that’s the one thing i didn’t get in my experience as a kid- any kind of usable self defense.

now if only this seized muscle in my left gluteus maximus loosen the F up.

ouch.

oh… and remember. step outside your comfort zone every once in a while. stagnancy is the enemy and will prevent you from growing and blossoming as a person.