This Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

i was asked a question today, and this question gave me the perfect opportunity to re-post an old blog of mine. i don’t like re-reading posts, because most of the time i get on my own nerves when i read my writing style. (yes, if i was locked with myself in a room, we’d claw each other to death within 24 hours) i’m not going to go overboard trying to make corrections to my errors, or update it to the times. i’ll leave it just as it was when i wrote it… uh… a while ago.

the question? i was asked what the tattoo on my ankle is. it’s really easy to tell what it is… but this person could only see a small part of it in the picture. (the one of my and my daughter’s painted piggies, i think) i like thinking about my tattoo… i got it on my husband’s and my third anniversary. we were driving around town that day, wondering what the hell we should do. we drove by a tattoo parlour, and decided to go in so my husband could do some research into the sleeve he was thinking about getting. we ended up looking through all the art hanging on the walls, and i saw a really cool dragon. it was really intricate, though, and i knew it probably wouldn’t come out the way i would have wanted. really, i was looking for a sun to get on the top of my foot… i thought i was being clever by getting a sun with my son’s initials in it. i never found a sun i liked, and we left. my husband looked at me and said this is probably the last chance for a while i’d have to get a tattoo, so if i saw anything i liked, i should go for it. me? i don’t like pain. i don’t like not knowing how i’m going to react to a specific type of pain either. still, i sucked it up, and we turned around. i showed him the dragon- it was a sketched piece of flash art from the 70s  that was tucked in the bottom very last page of a display. in my heart, it felt right. it felt as right for my body as this house felt for my family when i first saw it. when we showed it to the artists, they hadn’t even recognized it, it was so old. still, i told them what i wanted and they sketched it out. they used transfer paper to put it on my leg/ankle/foot, and got to work. it took 3 hours. i still love it today, i still haven’t gotten another tattoo.

as for why this tattoo felt right? you’ll have to read my other blog post. the one that i wrote… uh… a long time ago. it was saved to my computer when i shut down my myspace blog, so it’s been a while. you’ll understand when you read it, eh?

throughout my life, my emotions have been torrential at best…i’ve been borderline clinically depressed, and at the same time i have felt happier than most people will ever feel in their lives. the sad times are just a part of life, and feeling everything as strongly as i do, i’ve come to accept that. when i was in high school, i was miserable all the time…so, naturally, my subconscious created something for me to retreat into. i had a dream once when i was particularly depressed, and it was the clearest dream i’ve ever had in my life. some of you might think it cheesy, but i think it just is. i try not to put words to such an amazing gift. i dreamt that i got on the back of a dragon, and we soared through the air. i could feel the wind in my hair, and the elation of flying free at such a high speed. i remember how cold it was in the clouds, and when we dove into the water, i remember the spash of the salt water against my face as we submerged. i will never be able to fully impart the magesty of the feelings and physical sensations i experienced. the color alone in the dream was dazzling. from that moment on, when i feel the sadness creeping on the deepest levels of my soul, i can close my eyes, and reinsert myself into that dream. i can re-experience the unadulterated joy that went along with flying free in the air on top of a mythical, magical creature. it helped get me through some of the roughest times in my life. now, that dragon is with me physically as well as spiritually…his head starts on the top of my foot, and he flows up the side of my calf as free and beautiful as i remember. okay, not quite as colorful, as i don’t like color work on the body, but i loooove my tattoo. i’m trying desperately to take proper care of it in the hopes that he will be with me forever. i will post a better pic once it heals a little more. the pic i posted was taken mere hours after completion, and if you look closely you could probably still see traces of dried blood where the bandages were taken off…

go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief, because i’m not going to show you the picture of my bloody tattoo. i took this opportunity to get a little creative with my camera, and attempted to get a fresh new picture of my tat. i even put on a nice pair of shoes for the occasion. unfortunately, when you request a tattoo that curves down the side of your calf and onto the top of your foot, that’s exactly what you get. it’s quite difficult to get the whole thing in one shot. hopefully you’ll forgive my shoddy camera skills.