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Just a Moment of Your Time

  • Posted on January 4, 2010 at 5:53 pm

i would like to take just a moment of your time. i want to mark the place in history… i want to mark this very moment, because i know it won’t last much longer.

we just got back from the Y. i took the kids swimming while J worked out. K ran around the lazy river, running and screaming with a bunch of other kids (he makes friends quickly) and i floated E around the short end of the river. E had a great time… i’m telling you, that girl is absolutely fearless. she let me float her on her back and her stomach, she walked out as far as she could (the pool entrance is a ramp) and she poked the spurting water jets. we also stopped at the library so K could pick up a new stash of books, and i could grab a hold of mine.

it was a good time, but i’m glad to be home. while we’re out, i know we have to brave the cold again in order to get home, so i don’t get out much in the wintertime.

i just got a shower with E… while in there, we closed the door so all the heat from the shower and the central heating vent would warm the room up when we finished. i had to turn the water up pretty hot so it would still be warm by the time it got down to her, as she is significantly shorter than i am. when i got out, my bathrobe was toasty warm, and E didn’t even pitch a fit when it was time to wrap up in a towel. (she hates ending bath/shower time)

i got her dressed, and dressed myself in a pair of my husbands comfy pajamas and my still toasty warm bathrobe. for once… just once this winter, i feel okay. my toes don’t feel like ice cubes, my fingers aren’t numb. i’m sleepy, and warm, and with the feeling of just getting out of the pool still in my head, it almost feels like summer.

i absolutely refuse to go outside in the 9 degree weather to ruin the effect.

i can already feel the chill of the house sucking away my warmth, to replace it with the winter frost… but for this moment, i am toasty warm and comfortable.

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What I’ve Learned

  • Posted on at 9:48 am

i’ve been thinking a lot about 2009 and the year ahead. in my New Year post, i said that there wasn’t much to say about 2009, but i’ve been slowly coming to realize that a whole lot happened that year. i learned an epic amount of lessons, and even managed some self discovery along the way.

in 2009…

…we closed down our coffee roasting business, and realized that running a home based business is really hard work. you have to be able to put aside things like personal feelings and family and do what is best for the business. it’s not for the faint of heart, or for the family heart.

…we moved out of the addition to MILs house that we poured blood, sweat, and tears into to build together. we learned that the sacrifice was worth it- no amount of financial stability or square footage in our home is worth having to live under the same roof as her. the stress on our family was unbelievable, and we didn’t even realize it until we were gone. it was a lesson hard won, and one we won’t soon forget.

…my husband and i re-discovered how to love each other. without the stress of living under his mother’s roof, we can enjoy each other’s company again, and finally relax together in our own home.

…i also realized that just because a school is “rated best in the area” and praised by the locals as “a really great school” doesn’t mean it’s a good school. it’s like grabbing a bag of moldy apples, and eating the one with the least amount of mold on it. it’s still just a moldy apple. the best of the worst.

…i realized that having a wood burning stove as your only heating option really fucking sucks. gas central heating may dry my skin out like old parchment, but it’s better than fetching wood from outside in -10 degree snowy weather, and then spending the next hour trying to get it to light.

…i discovered my personal well of patience. i had no idea it was so deep.

…after having long, long hair for 27 years, i chopped it all off. it was a wonderful, liberating experience to change my hair style so drastically, but i won’t be doing it again for a long, long time. it was a mistake to keep it short. oh, and i learned that when my hair is short, i should never, ever dye it black.

…i got down to 122 lbs. i never even dreamed i could go below 130, so that was quite an accomplishment. i’ve gained since then, but i will always have the memory of no fat on my tummy. i’ve also managed to excercise regularly for nearly 7 months… that’s a record for me. usually i’ll stick with a workout routine for about a month before i abandon it. now all i have to do is keep it up until i die a painless, natural death at the ripe old age of 137.

the natural progression of this blog feels like i should end it with some sort of New Years resolution, or at least a list of things i would like to accomplish in 2010. i won’t, though… i don’t like to set goals or make promises to myself. i never hold to them. in the back of my mind i will subconsciously hold a goal to heart, but acknowledging it out loud is practically a death sentence for that goal. the best i can give you are my goals for life… ones that aren’t specific enough to be ruined by my rebellious subconscious… i will try to live my life the best i can, and when the time comes, i’ll answer to whoever asks.

i really hope that the first couple of days of 2010 haven’t set a precedent for the rest of the year. so far this year has sucked great big giant sweaty donkey balls.

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