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Poop, and the Special Relationship I Have With It

  • Posted on December 3, 2009 at 9:12 pm

my children’s poop and i have a very special relationship. my husband changed their first dirty diapers in the hospital, then after that it was mostly up to me. that’s okay- it’s the job i signed on for. but sometimes, sometimes- i get just a little more than i think is really necessary.

throughout kindergarten i had to rush to my son’s school on not just one, but three different occasions with a change of clothes, because he had pooped his pants. it was thoroughly disgusting, and if you knew how small the bathroom i had to squish myself and my very dirty son in, you would be feeling even more sympathy than you already are. don’t forget to feel sympathy for the rest of the school- the school he went to in kindergarten was tiny, and on one occasion i walked in the doors armed with a change of clothes and a plastic bag, and the smell of shit and cheap air freshener slapped me across the face. the poor receptionist was really sweet about it- she had two boys, with a girl on the way, and is one of the kindest people i know. thank goodness for that. on another occasion, i had gotten him cleaned up, and when i reached for the spare pair of pants, his clean pair of underwear plopped into the currently flushing toilet. my son and i could only watch as his black boxer briefs swirled down into the abyss. thankfully they didn’t clog it up. he cried, and after reassuring him that it’s okay not to wear underwear every once in a while, he went back to class, and told his best friend that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. *headdesk*

today, i bonded again with one of my children’s poop. i was sitting on the couch, about to feed my daughter her nightly serving of yogurt, when she put her hand on the side of my face. it smelled funny. it smelled so vomit-inducingly funny, that i looked at it closer, and realized that the cookie smeared on it was already digested. *barf*

i set her in the bathtub, clothes and all. i washed my face. i washed her. i put her to bed. i got a shower. and here i am, blogging about my children’s excrement and the special relationship i have with it.

today is not a good day.

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Poll: The Sex Talk

  • Posted on at 11:28 am

as we all know, i have a 7 year old son. the age is rapidly approaching when i’m going to have to give him the sex talk, and that got me wondering how other parents are going to approach this sometimes controversial subject.

obviously we’ve already had to skim the subject of how babies are made, since my daughter was conceived when my son was a very curious 5 years old. at that time, however, i deemed him a little too young for the details. i did explain that the daddy kind of puts a seed in mommys tummy, where the baby grows. he wanted to know how daddy put the seed there, and i told him he’d have to wait until he’s a little bit older to find out. he’s asked a couple more times since then, and he gets the same answer every time. he’s okay with it… i think he understands that eventually he’ll know, and he’s in no rush. thank goodness. he did, however, ask me once how the baby gets out of my tummy… and i told him that mommies push the babies out. he said “but where do they come out? their belly button?” and i said “well, between their legs…” naturally, he said “ewwww”, and that was the end of that question. i watched “a baby story” once with him while was still pregnant, and seeing the mom in such pain during labor scared the bejeezus out of him. he cried and told me he didn’t want me to be in pain like that. i tried to explain that it’s okay, that i don’t mind… but his 5 year old mind only imagined his mommy in pain. i quickly changed the channel, and never watched a birthing show again. he’s approached the subject since then, and i’ve explained that yes, it hurts- but that’s okay, because having a little baby is worth it. without the visual adding to the fear, it doesn’t scare him anymore. (thank goodness! i didn’t want to traumatize him.)

that’s as far as i’ve gotten with the sex talk with my son. i’m experienced when it comes to toddlers, but anything having to do with my son is new territory for me. with him, i’m still a first time mom and sometimes it can be so confusing. when do i explain certain things? how do i handle certain situations? what would you do?


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