there isn’t much i won’t blog about. i’ll answer any question that is thrown at me, and if somebody wants my unbiased opinion on something, i will give it- as long as that person isn’t asking for a side order of argument, because i just don’t do the online argument thing. it’s stupid.
there are some areas where i draw the line, however, and i think those areas are why i’m having a blog dry spell.
one area is arguments with my husband. when arguing with my husband, it’s okay to vent to one properly sympathetic friend (usually my mom) but blogging about it just doesn’t cut it, because it isn’t just about me anymore, it involves him. just because i’ll say anything about myself, doesn’t mean i go blabbing about other people’s shit. unless they want me to, of course. i respect other’s people’s privacy, and my husband falls along those lines. i feel comfortable spilling the juicy details of my inner thoughts, but he doesn’t… so i don’t when those details involve him. if i have an argument with him, the best way for us to handle it is to talk to him about it, and once i talk to him about it… i completely lose the need to blog about it. it’s no longer an issue. that’s why i don’t blog about serious issues with my husband.
another thing i don’t blog about is the financial details of our life. sure, i may whine about Uncle Sam and his stupid ass personal property taxes, but the finer details of our exorbitant debt and hellacious bills are also an insider issue that i just don’t want to whine about publicly. it just feels so lame to continuously complain about money, when i have so much more to be happy about.
unfortunately, when i get into a long-term rut with either issue, it leads to a lot of blog-less days. what’s there to write about if i can’t write about what’s on my mind? nothing. it makes me feel like i’ve failed somehow… not necessarily my readers, but myself. blogging is my form of getting my thoughts out there so that they stop bouncing around my head. believe me, there are a lot of stupid things bouncing around in my head, and when i don’t have an outlet for them- things get bad. i know. i could write in a private journal instead… but that’s where my readers come in. i don’t have many, but i treasure each and every one of you because it gives me a reason to keep writing. sometimes i stop doing things because it just doesn’t matter anymore. it’s like getting all dressed up so i can strut around the house when nobody’s home… writing just feels pathetic when there’s nobody around to read it. not that i’m saying people who write in journals are pathetic… don’t misunderstand me. i kept a journal for years before i discovered blogging, and if that is someone’s preferred method of catharsis that is wonderful. it’s just not for me anymore.
ultimately, i’m okay, despite my recent blog-lite attitude. things usually stay pretty even in my life… when one area goes bad, another area usually shoots through the roof in awesomeness. lately, my family life has been pretty awesome. my husband and i were sitting on the couch today playing LBP, and at one point we were laughing so hard i had tears streaming down my face. that hasn’t happened in years. the past few days we’ve made memories together that will sustain us through the hard times (because they always come back- no family can be perfect 24/7)
the only bad part of it is that whole see-saw effect on my life… my family life is through the roof, but our financial lives are down the crapper. it’s not that bad, really… there are families out there that are so much worse off than we are. i feel bad about feeling bad which makes me feel WORSE! it’s so stupid.
i hate money.
but i LOVE my family.
and i love you all….my readers.
that is what will sustain me throughout the holiday season. we won’t end it with a big bang on Christmas day, but the journey there sure has been fun so far.