one of the things i love the most about internet socializing, is that i can be myself. on the internet, where i can see everything before it comes out of my virtual mouth, i am completely unhindered by my paralyzing stutter when i get nervous, and i am pretty confident that i won’t forget what i’m saying in the middle of a sentence when i’m blogging. or facebooking. or twittering. or myspacing. or ivillage-ing. i can actually be myself, without all the weird social tics that are the result of my anxiety, paranoia, and airheaded-ness.
being able to voice my honest feelings without having to show my face to everybody is about as emotionally cleansing as it gets. it’s like therapy, without the “professional” part. ;)
but just because i feel more comfortable expressing myself online, doesn’t mean that everybody does. just because i can express my true self better online doesn’t mean that everybody can. recently, i found myself in a IM conversation with somebody who didn’t have a lot of web-socializing skills. that’s when it occurred to me that web-socializing does have rules of ettiquette. there is a certain form to it, and certain things that are the equivalent to stuttering, awkward pauses and outbursts, and other social mishaps. at the same time, there are no written rules to socializing online, so it’s always open to interpretation. here are a few things in MY opinion, that help smooth the road while socializing online, such as….
…type it with the same words you are thinking. i’ve chatted with people before who attempt to lessen the typing time by shortening all their answers to the “important” points, and as a result they sounded abrupt, rude, and at best- just plain weird. i was catching up with an old highschool friend of mine the other day. i know for a fact that she is vivacious and a bubbly, chatty person. chatting online with her, was not so bubbly. actually, it was painful, and borderline creepy. she played the 20 questions game with me, by asking me short question after question without ever volunteering any information on herself. it was just weird, and sounded stalker-ish because of the complete lack of information on herself. (where do u live. how many kids do you have. where do u work.) unless a person is in an interview, they don’t just ask question after question. they will answer questions asked while injecting little bits of information from their own experiences. which brings me to my next point…
…use punctuation that would make your sentences sound the way you would voice them, regardless of grammatical correctness. did you pause while you said that? well add a comma. were you excited? add an exclamation point! want to emphasize a certain word, or give it a different inflection? italicize it. actions can be enclosed in asterisks. *blink* yelling is capitalized. emoticons…
…are helpful. because they help convey mood. being sarcastic? add a
so people know you don’t actually think it’s great. [had to go to the doctor's today. had a great time.
] teasing someone?
that’ll do. or this
or any of it’s other variations. [hahaha you're such a goob
]
…and if you use a bunch of acronyms, (kup, ppts, bf, gl, wtf) be prepared for the onslaught of “what does that mean”s from the various people who don’t use emoticons or punctuation in their online communication. it’s not their fault, so try not to get too annoyed. we’ve all been there.
but that’s just me, and some of the basic “rules” i abide by when doing internet-y word things. some people prefer to be grammatically correct, and that’s okay. i’m pretty sure my personal style of typing gets on some folks nerves… especially my penchant for inserting tons of “…” and never capitalizing the appropriate letters, but hey. that’s my personality, and that’s theirs, and at least we’re getting an honest impression of each other. you can’t be friends with everybody in real life, why would we be able to do it online as well? at least i know that if somebody decides to dislike me, they’re doing it in honest reaction to my personality, and not just my own inability to properly express myself online. most of the time, at least.
oh, and there are some things you shouldn’t do as well, such as…
…don’t constantly use text speak when you’re on messageboards. spking lke this just dznt fly with ppl u wanna git advice frm i dont wanna read it & in the end i probly wont.
…DON’T CAPITALIZE EVERYTHING UNLESS YOU ARE YELLING. IT’S RUDE, AND YOU’LL PISS PEOPLE OFF. I’M EVEN GETTING MAD AT MYSELF RIGHT NOW JUST FOR DOING THIS INAPPROPRIATELY.
…don’t lie in a place you regularly visit, under the same name. you’ll get caught eventually. of course, i’d rather nobody ever lied at all… but i know getting rid of creepy stalkers or people who live completely fictional lives online are impossible. the most i can hope for, is that people don’t build something quite as elaborate as i described in the above link.
…have fun, don’t take things too seriously. one of the glories of the internet, is that you can avoid things that piss you off or make you sad. don’t like it? don’t go there. one person shoving their views down the throats of other people and upsetting the balance of a community can be a real online buzz kill. if you are going to have no friends left on the board you are visiting by the time you’re done voicing your opinion, the you should probably find somewhere else to go to begin with.
but that’s just my perception on online communication, and i’m hardly an expert. i don’t im most of the time, because i’m never online for more than 5 minutes at a time throughout the day, and i don’t really visit message boards that frequently. maybe i’m wrong about my internettiquette, but i’d like to think i have a pretty decent grasp on it. any points to add? points to dispute? as in all things, there are grey areas… i’m totally up for input.
AND as an added bonus for all of you who were brave enough to read through all that hogwash… here’s a link to a list of online acronyms. mostly, it applies to iVillage message boards, but a lot of it translates over to other sites as well. so here it is *CLICK ME*
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