just a few random updates i feel compelled to share before getting serious.
when i said i’m taking a sick day, maybe i should have said i’m taking a “sick morning”. it was heavenly to be able to sleep in as long as i wanted to. (especially having been wide awake between 2-6 that night after going to bed at 12) after rolling around in bed trying to sleep, i finally dragged myself out of bed at 10, showered and did a few chores in the resounding silence of my house.
have you even noticed how silence is so still? i love the feel of silence. not permanently, of course…part of the wonder of silence is actually being able to know what i’m missing. sometimes when i’m in the car by myself, or if the baby is asleep when we get home (when K isn’t with us, because he never actually shuts up) i just sit there after i turn the car off, and listen to…nothing. especially after turning off the vibrating engine of the car, everything is so quiet and still. if i were to ever reach spiritual enlightenment, that’s what i imagine it would feel like [emotionally] only a million times better. try it sometime…especially if, like me, you always have some sort of miniature version of yourself chattering away in your ear constantly. those few seconds of just sitting in the car without any noise, without any movement feel so amazing, i’m at a complete loss for colorful metaphors to describe it. of course, you also risk looking like a crazy person when you do it… the couple times i’ve been caught, my husband’s come out of the house (sometimes he watches the kids when i go grocery shopping) saw me just sitting there doing nothing, and gotten a concerned look on his face while asking me if i’m okay. i suppose it does look kind of strange… i imagine it’s much like the look of a person waiting on their car to fill up with exhaust in the garage. but no, i have too much to love and too much to be happy about to do something incredibly cowardly and stupid as that… i’m just soaking in the blessed, peaceful silence.
that’s what it was like the whole time i was home yesterday. of course, i missed my little monkey toes running around and tugging on my pants leg, and i missed my little punkin butt following me like a faithful guard, chattering on about his newest lego creation. i even missed tripping over my husband’s computer cord. but i’m not the kind of girl to intentionally look a gift horse in the mouth, so i enjoyed the silence while i could.
and my pescatarian thing? yeah, if you haven’t noticed yet, it didn’t exactly work out. i’m trying to eat healthy, but eliminating meat from my diet just isn’t working for me this time around. it’s hard to cook, especially on a tight budget, for 4 people with completely different tastes and dietary needs. i’ve been trying to settle for eating healthy. the day before yesterday my son and i had an evening out together. we walked a trail at a nature sanctuary, where he got to see his very first waterfall (he was oh so excited) and we wrapped up our special time together by eating dinner at Sonic. (so healthy, i know) the Sonic where, apparently, i got my very first case of food poisoning. yesterday, i ate nothing but about 10 saltines and a bowl of oatmeal. my milk didn’t dry up, and i didn’t die from lack of nutrition. i also didn’t starve, and i felt rather skinny all day. (i suppose that’s just what being sick does to a person, eh?) i learned a couple things from this experience. first of all, fast food is evil. as of right now, i won’t be ordering anything that hasn’t been scalded to a temperature that would make Fried Ebola safe to eat. in other words, no more hunks of meat served with a topping of limp, germ ridden lettuce. i also learned that i can in fact deprive myself of what the rest of the family is eating without starving to death. all i need is a little bit more control and will power and i’ll be just fine as a pescetarian. maybe i’ll try it again? maybe.
also on my list of updates is my daughter. for some wacky reason she’s decided that she can now eat solids. i know! i blog in a total panic about how she won’t eat, come up with a plan of action, and a week later, she up and starts shoving everything in her mouth. yes, she loves saltines (i break them into tiny pieces, and she still spits half of it out, but some of it definitely gets down her throat, and i haven’t seen her gag in weeks) she’ll try to eat cheerios, and even little bits of pizza. sadly, her newfound love of big people food isn’t limited to just food… she’s trying to eat my entire house too. the day before yesterday, i picked her up to take her to the bath, and when she looked in the mirror- a penny popped out of her mouth like a backfiring vending machine. i’ve also confiscated all the pretty hair clips, because i had to dig one out of her mouth in the car the other day. last night, i pulled two coffee beans, a piece of…something, maybe a rock?, a disturbingly large hunk of lint out of her mouth, and a lego. there is also a missing elastic in which i’m watching her poop for. i swear, that child is going to give me a heart attack before i reach 30. possibly before 28. i’m already nervous enough about my children’s safety, but this girl is pushing my stomach ulcers to their limit. i don’t need anymore food poisoning, i already feel sick enough with worry.
my husband has also come up with a new knick name for my little monkey toes. as if she needed another one. E is now affectionately known as “mooky stanks”. ??? yeah. i know. i have no idea how that’s actually spelled. apparently, it’s a South Park thing, as if calling her Cheesy Poof wasn’t enough. Mr. Garrison, at some point, calls poop “mooky stanks” and my husband, with his true-blue manly self, decided that it’s the perfect knick name for our daughter. sadly, the name stuck. i was utterly horrified this morning when i caught myself calling her mooky stanks while she was eating breakfast. *headdesk*
i was going to get into my version of spirituality in this blog, but i just decided that i’ve written enough for now. ugh, it’s not even nine o’clock yet, and my head is bursting with words i need to get out. instead, i’m going to leave you here, and get a shower. don’t worry…by the time most of you get to this particular blog, there’ll probably be 4 more written afterwards. i’ve noticed a sad lack of internet activity on the weekend. anyways, i’m going to go get clean now.
Continue reading Silence and Chatter
i still look longingly at little boys baseball caps and cute vest and trouser sets. never again will i have a child who wears a cute little bow tie, or easy to brush hair. i’m a little sad that i won’t be able to use my favorite boy outfits of K’s, or that i officially have all the worries that comes with harboring a teenage girl. but that’s okay. i get to buy stockings.