today, my husband and i had a serious conversation.
it started out, by me making fun of my vagina. it’s birthed two babies, and will never be the same again…so i *may* have said something along the lines of it being “gaping” and “sloppy”. not that it is, but it’s hard to break a lifetime habit of talking bad about oneself. i also have a habit of making jokes about how we aren’t going to need to buy bras in a few years, because we’ll just be able to tuck my floppy H’s into my pants.
he then informed me that i’m not allowed to talk about myself like that anymore- not even in jest. the sweet guy, he said he doesn’t like hearing me self-defecate all the time, because i am beautiful and amazing just the way i am.
?
i thought it sounded a little odd, but didn’t comment on his use of vocabulary…i got the point. i won’t talk bad about myself anymore, because i know he loves me and my vagina and my gihugic boobs. they’ve given life to the fruit of his loins, and as far as big-breasted moms go, he thinks i look pretty damn good. things are also great where they really matter in the bedroom, so just because i don’t look the way i used to, doesn’t mean i’m not still as good as i always was.
but for some reason we couldn’t let the subject drop, and he said that word again. self-defecate. finally, as we’re watching Top Chef, i burst out laughing, and said that can’t be right. i don’t know what the correct word is…it’s close… but there’s no way he’s intending to say that i keep, literally, shitting on myself.
so we looked it up.
Self-defecating would mean, literally, shitting on oneself.
Self-deprecating would be to deface onself, or to put oneself down before others.
thank you, yahoo answers. you’ve answered that niggling question of the proper use of vocabulary, and gave me one of the best laughs i’ve had since the incident with the Fiber One muffins. 
Self-deprecating, not Self-defecating. although in a metaphorical sense, i suppose they both mean the same.
