Nobody's Nothings Life, the Universe and Everything

nonono, it’s nothing serious, so if you don’t want to waste your positive thought power on my family and me, i completely understand. no biggie. but still. we’re going through some major re-structuring right now, and in the end we’ll either come out smelling like sunshine and roses, or we’ll go down in a glory of flames and misery. i’m voting for sunshine and roses. 

anyways, we’ve decided to go full throttle with the coffee business- which means that J will soon be quitting his “real” job. luckily for me, (or not? i don’t know) i have so little education and work experience that putting our kids in daycare isn’t an option…i would spend more money on daycare than i would actually make! not to mention that finding a job in this economy for someone like me is all but impossible. so i still get to be a stay at home mom. but we definitely need some serious “happy go well vibes” for this venture…if this doesn’t work out, we’re pretty much up the creek. J’s “real” job gives us everything- insurance, retirement, etc. when he resigns, we’re going to have to get ahold of all that stuff on our own, and if the coffee biz tanks, then so will we. so we’re basically on the edge of our seats, hoping that a lot of hard work and persistence really will pay out. we’ll see, eh? 

there’s a second half to all of this…we’re moving. out and away from MIL. we originally moved in with her because we didn’t want her to be alone. you see, she has no brothers no sisters no friends. she just has her elderly mother. when her mother dies, MIL would be completely alone in the world, except for J. so we moved in with her because we figured it would happen eventually anyways. 

well, after we built our addition onto her house she finally got off her ass, stopped mooching of her mama’s retirement, and got a job. now she has a few friends and even a boyfriend. she is currently working on marraige lucky number 7, and we don’t want to be anywhere near that when/if it happens. J is so sick of her bullshit, that if his hair wasn’t already thinning (poor guy!) he’da pulled it out by now. so we’re pulling up our roots, and moving back into the city where we won’t have to drive an hour to get to our cafe or customers. 

sadly, finding a house will not be easy. we aren’t buying…2 years ago we made the decision to foreclose on a house so we could move in with MIL sooner. yeah, it was a mess. basically, we’ve done the home owner thing, and now mortgage companies won’t touch us with a ten foot pole… not that we want them to. we’re still a little gun shy when it comes to buying a house. we’re just not ready for the commitment. maybe after we’ve lasted more than 5 years in the same community, or even city, we’ll think about it. so far we’ve moved 5 times in the last 6 years… so no, we’re not ready to buy a house yet. anyways, we’re going to look at a house today in a very nice neighborhood, with a very nice school district. if we can talk the landlord down just a little bit, and the house is decent, then we’re going to go for it. anyways, a lot of things have to happen to make this work… i’m pretty nervous. 

we’re pretty much turning our lives completely upside-down in the next couple of months, and i feel like i could jump out of my skin and fly into a million pieces with the stress, risk and nervousness of it all. 

anyways…that’s my story for right now. and it’s also why i just can’t seem to get words out lately. it’s kind of like being constipated…there’s so much shit stuffed in my head it’s having trouble fitting out my mouth….

okay. enough gross metaphors. 

i’m going to ride some stress off, then make a coffee delivery. then check out our prospective new house. 

wish us luck!!! (please!)