today, exactly 6 years ago i got married to the very same man i’m married to today. whodathunkit, eh? coinidentally, my son is also exactly halfway through another year. he was 6 months old to the day at our wedding…
i won’t get into the sweet memories of my wedding, because there really aren’t any. you see, my wedding was one of those clips you see on “americas funnies videos” only it’s not really funny, unless you have a really sick sense of humor, and absolutely no empathy.
because on my wedding day i apparently didn’t think that water and food were important. none of my friends were there, just family. i was going through a rough time in my life, and had alienated everyone. i wore a long sleeved dress, and the place i said my vows in was about 80 degrees that day. i wore a pair of 4 inch heels because i didn’t want to spend the time or money getting the dress fitted properly. i said my vows in an indoor garden…there was a lovely lion-head water fountain behind us. i walked over a pretty little bridge while a violinist played that stupid song. then, after saying our vows and the priest kept going on and on and on with those obnoxious little prayers that nobody actually listens to, i passed out and vomited what little was in my stomach into that pretty little fountain.
it was absolutely humiliating.
i hate looking at my wedding pictures, and i hate thinking about that day.
if i could do it all over again, i would jump over a broom stick or something. because really, i did what i thought everybody else thought i should do. i got a poofy white dress because that’s what people do at weddings. if i could re do it, i would get married in a short cute dress in maybe dark red, or green.
i had a big episcopal ceremony because that’s what my mother wanted me to do. really, i don’t believe in all that. i’m not religious. i’m not even spiritual. my beliefs can be summed up in this one sentence: “i will try to live my life the best i can, and when i die, i will answer to whoever asks.”
my friends weren’t there. my sister and my brother weren’t a part of the ceremony itself. i was a stupid, selfish little teenager (okay, i was actually 20- but close enough) who didn’t understand enough about life, family, and love.
but in the past 6 years, i’ve gotten a heaping dose of all that and i’ve spent that time trying to piece back together what i had broken in my ignorance.
anyways, this wasn’t supposed to be a whine about my wedding…but i haven’t told many people about it, (understandably, i think) and i think i am finally coming to terms with the disaster it was. i can even laugh about it just a little bit.
my husband and i have gone through some serious ups and downs, and i am proud to say that we’re doing better than ever (so far!) 6 years after we said our vows. (thank goodness we got that part out of the way before i passed out…) the only thing i would change, is this overwhelming pattern of BROKENESS on our anniversary! seriously!
every stinking year on our anniversary, we are completely utterly broke. we can’t afford to do anything, let alone get anything special for each other. this year is no different, but there IS a funny story to go along with it.
so my husband, dear sweet man that he is was looking on ebay for a gift for me. he just sold a bunch of stuff and wanted to get me something nice with some of the money before we used it for bills. so he’s looking at Coach purses online, and he sees one he’s thinking is nice, but the auction is ending literally in seconds. there’s only one bidder on it, and he decides to be an ass and put a bid on it to drive up the price for the other bidder. he wasn’t planning on winning it, just making it a little more expensive for the other person.
suddenly, i hear an exclaimation- “well, happy anniversary, i just won you a coach purse by accident!” what a dork. it’s a nice little handbag that i can use when we go out sans kids. although that hasn’t happened in so long, i’m wondering if it’s even possible anymore….anyways. so that’s what he got me for our anniversary.
then this morning, (the purse came several days ago) i’m doing my internet thing and K comes running into the livingroom…”mom! mom! do you want some french toast? daddy’s making french toast!” i’m thinking, wow! that’s so nice of him! and i send my order back to the kitchen, gather the baby up and go in there to hang out until breakfast is ready.
one important thing should be made known here…i haven’t seen my husband cook anything for me in years. so it was a very nice surprise. i LOVE french toast. the only thing better than french toast is belgian waffles…i thought it was something special for our anniversary, since it’s always such a bust.
when i told him how much i love them, he’s like “really? i just wanted something different this morning…” *headdesk* silly man. he always manages to do everything right by accident… a couple years ago i got my first tattoo on our anniversary…it was a totally spur of the moment decision too. it’s almost annoying. but i almost always benefit from his blunders, so i’m not complaining. 
so, however the rest of the day may turn out, (i’m not too optimistic with the screaming baby, and headache and sinus infection i’m developing) i managed to get something pretty, and breakfast out of the deal. SWEET.