finally, with the emergence of our first decent paycheck in which we were able to make all our bills, my husband was able to sign us all up at the Y. he was very sneaky about it… he went out on Christmas Eve to “run errands” and came back with 4 little cards bearing our names, and a huge stack of informational pamphlets to read through. (it also helps that he gets a discount with his employer)
i’m pretty excited about it… our Y is really, really nice. it has an indoor pool, a sauna, a hot tub, a kiddie wading pool- all of that indoors. there’s also an outdoor pool that’s closed during the winter (duh) and a shit-ton of other torture devices masquerading as exercise equipment. they also have the usual classes- pilates, yoga, zumba, spinning, etc. most importantly? they have child care.
so far i am pleased with the childcare facilities. they separate the big kids from the toddlers, and have a system that seems relatively safe for signing in and out. K had a blast playing with all the big kids… he even saw one of his friends from school while he was there. my daughter did okay for her first time in a daycare environment. as soon as i put her down, she was off playing with the toys and following the bigger kids around. she didn’t even notice when i left. when i returned, she was busy climbing the slides after a bigger kid. when i called her name, she looked at me and ran towards me with a big hug. i felt special. then she whined and practically begged to be picked up. i’m hoping she does just as well next time, but when we go back she’ll know what to expect (that i’ll be leaving her) and that may affect her behavior. when my son was a toddler we did the same thing at a different Y, and he was okay the first few times… until he realized we were going to leave him. then he started bawling his eyes out every time we left. not cool. we’ll see how she does.
i still haven’t gotten used to the idea that i actually have all of that stuff at my disposal. i think it’s because my brain is frozen by all the snow outside. if “hibernate” was a viable activity for me this winter, i’d be all over it. even if i did have to eat dirt, sticks, and nuts to clog up my pooper all winter like bears do. i know, i really do hate winter that much.
also taken into consideration are my slightly germophobic tendancies, and the realization that if we do start going to the Y regularly, the sickness level in this house will increase by 50%. i’m not looking forward to that, but i’m also trying to listen to my sensible side… i can’t put my children in a bubble their entire lives just because i don’t want them or me to get sick. to not go to the Y because i don’t want them getting sick is just stupid. i have germ-x in the car… it’s our “home from school” ritual, and we’re just gonna make it part of a “home from the Y” ritual too. no biggie, right??????
okay, so i’ve covered the germ problem and the snow problem. next, we’re moving on to the pool problem. i don’t really like swimming all that much… but i need to take my kids swimming, because i don’t want them to have my prejudices against the water. not to mention my son doesn’t know how to swim yet. my daughter will become a little water bug i think, but i have to get her in the water first. so what’s my problem??? the bathing suit. yes, under my crunchy sarcastic exterior, i’m just another woman who wants to look good in a bathing suit. in my case, the problem is with finding one that fits my now-small-sized ass, and eternally xxx-large milk jugs. that rules out a one piece… besides, without any support i’d probably trip over my boobs.
i’ve been searching for the perfect bikini for years now, but haven’t had any luck. a couple years ago i did okay by mixing a M bottom and XL top at wal mart… the top tied around the neck and around back, so i could adjust it as small as i needed, while still getting the huge cup size that’s necessary to shield the outside world from my mega boobage… but oddly enough after having E, the bottoms are too big, and the top is too small. so i’m on the hunt again. i took some money i got from MIL for Christmas, and put in an order with Victoria’s Secret for a sized mix and match bathing suit. it should be interesting, to say the least. i have no faith in VS… i’m a Frederick’s girl, but Fred’s doesn’t have their swimsuit line out yet. 
if you know of a reliable online store that sells odd-sized bikinis (possibly a 34F top?) clue me in immediately please!
moving on.
yesterday, we finally managed to take our first trip to the Y and go through the first stage of orientation.
have you ever been orientated by the Y before??? (c’mon, laugh. i know that’s not a real word. say it with a southern twang… it really is funny)
well, they do tests on you. they make you do things. like a 3-minute step test, in which you step up and down a block to the beat of a metrinome for 3 minutes. (i scored Average)
they also test your max bench press and leg press. (i benched 100lbs, and pressed 280)
they did things i expected, such as heart rate, BMI, and a Waist-Hip ratio.
my favorite test (NOT) and the one i didn’t see coming at all, was called the “Jackson-Pollock 7-Pinch Fat%”.
7 pinch fat percentage, you say? yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. dude-face, (which is what i call any random male whose name i can’t remember, but doesn’t deserve a title such as dick head or douche nozzle) actually took a set of vicious pincher-like calipers and pinched various areas of my most fatty regions. (skipping over the two most fatty regious, thank goodness, on account of that whole “sexual harassment” thing. he was very nice and professional. my husband was also there to keep him in line.) it was definitely a little weird having a stranger pinch and measure my fat, but i figure it’s all for the greater good.
surprisingly, i am very pleased with the results. my lean weight is 106.4, with a fat weight of 22.1. i scored “well above average” and i am thoroughly pleased with my initial fitness assessment.
now i just have to figure out how NOT to score worse next time. *sigh*
all that’s left now, is to figure out what to wear. yes, i believe earlier i mentioned that underneath my crunchy sarcastic exterior, i am just a woman who wants approval from her peers. i’ve got a bathing suit on the way, so i’ve taken steps to find something to wear in the pool. now what do i wear while doing bench presses and leg lifts and pilates???
no, really… i’m asking for advice here. i admit, i am shallow enough to have scoped out the female exerciser’s outfits during orientation yesterday. ultimately, i came to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter what i wear as long as it covers the appropriate body parts and allows maximum flexibility. i suppose i’ll just have to suck it up and change into the appropriate attire in the locker room this winter, because there’s no way i’m walking out to the car in a flimsy pair of exercise pants or shorts. i forgot what a pain in the ass clothing-wise it is to exercise in public.
but the fact that i won’t have to wait until nap time, or watch the baby monitor like a hawk, and have such a wide range of possible activities more than makes up for it. i wonder if it’s okay for me to just sit and read a book for a couple hours while they watch my kids???
OHOHOH! and i forgot the most important part. once my youngest is 2 years old, we can participate in “parent’s night out”! that’s right folks, there is HOPE for my husband and me yet! we haven’t had a night out alone together in over 17 months. if we can just stick it out for 7 more months, we might actually be able to go out on a date. *gasp*
thus begins a new era in our family’s fitness.
*yes, i am fully aware i am WAY over-thinking the whole situation. that’s what my blog is for… it’s a place to dump my “overthoughts” so i don’t have them plaguing my consciousness anymore…
Continue reading the Y
