i need…

… to step away from facebook. when i’m not wanting to stab my eyes out with a fork, i’m wanting to shut down my account. when i’m not doing either of those, i’m just sitting here feeling pathetic for having my only friends and family in a computer.

… for something to change. specifically, winter. if winter would change into summer, that would be GREAT.

… for the assholes who voted for the recent change in medical insurance through my husband’s company, to choke on my bills and DIE. they recently lowered monthly payments, but upped the out-of-pocket cost. they also changed prescription insurance, and now the antacid i need (because nothing else works) is covered with doctor approval… and the assholes at the insurance company denied my doctor approval anyways. WHAT THE FUCK. i am going to die of an eroded esophagus before i’ve gone through enough cheaper meds (again) and they finally approve what my doctor already told them i needed. forehead, meet brick wall.

… for pms not to be so…disruptive.

… simplicity.

… warmth.

… to brush my teeth.

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Good To See You Again!

i don’t like to lie. if i do lie, believe me it’s for your own good. now don’t get all hoity-toity on me… we all do it. those little white lies we tell people. “yes, i think your hair cut looks great!” (for those people we don’t know well) or the big one “I’m fine!” yeah, we’ve all done it.

which brings me to one of my most awkward moments.

i went to my gynecologist for my yearly appointment today. that in itself is a whole barrel full of embarrassment and awkwardness. they always say something that always throws me for a loop…

“It was good to see you again!”

i just can’t seem to choke out the words “you too!” because it’s NOT good to see them.

my family doctor does that to me too.

i don’t understand why. okay, i do understand that they’re just being nice, but i hope that it’s okay when i don’t reciprocate the feelings. today

i’m not a hypochondriac… i don’t enjoy going to the doctor. in fact, i find any visit to any doctor to be an embarrassing hassle. so forgive me if i just can’t seem to choke out the words “it’s good to see you again too” because really… it’s not. if i had my way, i’d never have need of another doctor again.

i mean really, if they were truly honest they say “hey! it’s good to see you! thank you for lining my pockets and putting dinner on my table every night. let’s check you out to see if you have any illnesses that if left untreated could possibly be the death of you!”

yeah, no.

it’s NOT good to see you.

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What’s a Mom to do?

yesterday, my husband was actually home and had the rare opportunity to invite a relatively new friend over. i haven’t had the chance to get out of the house sans-kids in months, (yes, months) so it instantly occurred to me that i could go out by myself. normally i’d take the opportunity of hubs being home to actually spend some time with him, but since he was having a friend over, i figured i wouldn’t get any time with him anyways.

usually when i do this, i go see a movie. (i watched Avatar, The Green Lantern and Captain America by myself on similar occasions) this time i wanted to see the new Underworld movie (i ADORE Kate Beckinsale) but they only had it in 3D. i fucking HATE 3D. Sherlock didn’t have any showings past 6. Mission Impossible (i hate Tom Cruise, but absolutely love Simon Pegg) wasn’t showing anything at a reasonable time either. :( no movie for me.

i couldn’t spend any money- well, no more than what a movie ticket would cost anyways.

my first stop was Dillards. i thought maybe i could have some fun trying on clothes for the fun of it without screaming at a preschooler for trying to steal all the sparkly jewelry. as i was fingering through all the silky tops and cute dresses, the rough pads of my fingers kept catching on all the clothes. i felt afraid to touch anything pretty… i left.

my second stop was the parking lot of Target. i say “parking lot” because i never actually got out of the car. i sat in the darkened parking lot (with my doors locked, in an ironically excellent parking spot close to the front doors) and debated on my next move. i facebooked my best gals whom i’ve never met, i checked movie times again. eventually, i came up with a plan.

i’d go to the local B&N and peruse the books. i’d pick one out, download it onto my Kindle using their free wi-fi, get a cup of coffee (small hazelnut soy latte NOM) and sit in one of their comfy chairs and read for a little while.

my first roadblock was in realizing that they don’t have free wi-fi. LOSERS. that was okay- i still had tons of books on my Kindle. what really sealed the deal, though, was the complete lack of a comfy chair. there was 1 empty chair in the whole place… a hard wooden chair perched in front of a window right next to the fantasy section. now, i felt totally at home in the fantasy section, even though it’s been flooded with paranormal action novels in recent years. (it used to be all sword and sorcery, back when i still read real paper books) it was amusing watching the people who browsed the fantasy section- they haven’t changed at all in the last 15 years. they’re still dorks of all ages who wear nothing but long black trench coats. seriously. i saw more long black trenchcoats in the fantasy section that night than i saw all year last year.

i tried. i really did. i rested my coffee down on a window ledge, put my purse on the floor, and tried to get comfortable enough to read. unfortunately, i kept getting distracted by the people walking by, the person looking through books next to me, the car headlights flashing by…. yeah, i eventually packed up and left.

if i had any friends, i would have called them just to hang out. if i had any family, i would have visited them just to say hi. but i don’t. not a single friend or family member within any less than a 10 hour drive of me. my best friend is my husband, and he was busy babysitting the kids for me so i could get some much needed away time.

*sigh*

oh well.

i decided to hit up a grocery store and get some munchies for myself- a tasty combo of sweet and salty- to make myself feel better. armed with kettle cooked potato chips on clearance and a small bag of skittles, i made my way home.

when i got there, i formally met my husband’s friend (i’d seen him around, but never talked to him. or looked at him directly, for that matter) who turned out to be much cooler than the other strays my husband usually brings home. oh, also- the prunes i had given my daughter earlier that day did their job a little too well, and hubs was all too happy to hand the preschooler care back to me.

eventually, i got the kids to bed and alternated between watching a grown-up movie with the “boys” and reading a book i just downloaded onto my Kindle. (the one i wanted to download in B&N but couldn’t because BARNES AND NOBLES SUCKS. call it a consolation prize.)

all in all, it wasn’t a bad night. next time, though, i’m just going to skip the “going out” part if i don’t already have a movie ticket bought.

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Boots

yesterday my family and i went to the mall. i found the most kick-ass suede purple knee high stiletto fuck-me boots i’ve ever seen. the best part? they were on clearance- marked down to $30 from $150. the worst part? they didn’t have my size. i shed a tear for those boots which shall never be mine.

i searched online for said lost boots, but couldn’t find anything that was quite like them. then i came across these little puppies…

don’t be fooled. my style is usually extremely subdued. i’m a mom, after all. i go in what is comfortable, because when i’m chasing a sobbing toddler through walmart, i want my runnin’ shoes on. jeans and a clean t-shirt is me putting on airs. i’m also too cheap to spend money on nice shoes… after all, i never wear them.

BUT when i saw these boots, OMG. if i had these boots, i would probably slip them on before heading to bed every night just so i could wear them. ;) they are just… gorgeous. i’m a sucker for corsets and laces and all things purple.

those boots fucking rock.

come to think of it, i may actually have a problem

i have a HUGE problem with ugg boots. i think the majority of them are pretty ugly, though i don’t hold it against the people wearing them (except maybe that one time when i saw a teenage girl wearing fuzzy ugg boots and running shorts at a gas station last AUGUST) but i would even wear these…

because the color, is just amazing. i admit it. i think they’re cute.

and what a coincidence? both pairs of shoes featured in this post are sold out…. maybe my taste isn’t as bad as i thought. ;0)

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His and Hers

a photo montage.

His

Hers

 

 

His

Hers

 

 

His

Hers

 

 

his

hers

 

 

his

hers

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